Fasten your seat belts!
It is worth starting the adventure with NLP by getting to know the basic assumptions in this field.
These mottos are sometimes misinterpreted, ways which has led to the creation of a lot of controversy around NLP.
We are not in a direct contact with the objective reality. Everything that surrounds us is perceived by means of our senses. We create our own representation of reality in our minds – our map which we use to move. We react differently in the same situation because we see it through the prism of our own experiences, values, educational schemes (filters created in order to cope with the huge flow of sensoric information).
The reason why we behave differently is the fact that every single person has his own map.
The reconstruction of our map plays a key role in the solving our problems.
Becoming familiar with another man’s map is a key to understand him.
The effective persuasion requires leading the person to the proper place on his map.
The simplicity of this principle is brilliant.
A lot of people try in vain to achieve some goal using the same approach time and time again.
However, if you always do something in the same manner, you will obtain the same often not satisfying results.
NLP focuses on searching for the most effective course of action.
Individuals who are most elastic and are prepared for many different options are most likely to achieve success
NLP main aim is to give you in every situation wide range of options to choose from. Your mind will select the most effective way.
The way we behave convey a message to people that surround us.
Words make up only a small part of the communication process. Even when you keep silent, your facial expression and gestures tells a lot about you.
While getting acquaintant with the NLP you will learn how to notice both verbal and non-verbal messages and react to them which dramatically raises the efficiency of our communication. Moreover:
In NLP the effective action is the most important issue. We evaluate our efficiency by observing the effects and the reactions of others.
If the message you try to convey brings a reaction opposite to the expected one (it is not very strange as it is directed to a person with a different map of reality) you should do something dissimilar, modify your behaviour so that it could produce positive effect, beneficial to both sides.
The concentration on the recipient, adjusting to his model of world is of key importance in effective communication because:
When your action turns out to be a failure, you have at least two possibilities:
It is probably the most controversial NLP assumption and many opponents accuse us of using it to justify every, even the most unacceptable behaviour.
However, the justification is beside the point.
It means that if you behave in a certain way there must be a positive purpose, otherwise your mind would not have chosen this course of action. When you do something shabby, boorish, destructive it means that at that moment you have no other (better) resources available to be able to deal with this situation.
Such models of behaviour should be surely changed by creating new, more friendly choices and options.
In order to successfully adapt those new models of behaviour you have to understand and accept that the old, bad ones stemmed from the fact that your mind found a positive intention in them.
At that time new models will not run into resistance.
It means that NLP doesn’t focus on identifying the source of the problem but concentrates on searching for solutions.
This brings very positive effect – the changes for better occur faster and they are the result of the „generation” of new behaviour models and options.
I hope you kept an open mind while getting acquaintant with these assumptions.
Is it hard to believe? Go and see for yourself!
Before these assumptions convince you, make a small experiment for a couple of days and behave as if they are true.
See what kind of positive changes will take place in your way of thinking and in the interaction with surrounding.
Now, you are embarking on a fascinating adventure.